Our unconscious mind cannot be fooled. Our dominant feelings are stronger than any positive thoughts or affirmations that we have. You see, if you spend your day eating healthy foods and exercising yet deep down have the belief that you are fat, ugly and will never be thin – those feelings are going to trump the positive work that you did throughout the day.

So the key is to begin to align your feelings with your thoughts. Not always an easy task, so taking one step at a time works well. Give your mind experiences and relish in the feelings of accomplishent. Be able to access those feelings whenever you find yourself thinking or feeling negative thoughts that aren’t in alignment with where you want to be.

Here is an example – if you have a financial goal of  250,000 dollars per year and are currently making $50,000 per year, then $250,000 is not the next logical step for you to take. If you try, you will become discouraged and your feelings will trump your thoughts. For while it is certainly feasible for you to make $250,000 per year, you need experience that you can do it.

Figure out what your next logical step will be – in this case, perhaps making $100,000 per year is your next logical step. And when you begin to take the actions necessary to reach your new goal, take note of the feelings that you have as you bring in the extra money. The excitement as you reach and achieve the goal. From $100,000, work toward your next logical step all the while your thoughts and feelings are aligned.

While your overall intention will be $250,000 per year  or say 50 lbs weight loss or optimal health or you fill in the blank, your thoughts and feelings must be congruent with each other. Take smaller steps – smaller logical steps – to creating your future. Give yourself the experience that is desired so that you will think and feel that  your dreams are possible.

Take the experiences that you have had and the feelings that you have felt and incorporate them into your affirmations, visualizations or meditations. How does it feel to be in optimal health? What do you see, taste, and smell? How does it feel to have more energy? What does it feel like to bound out of bed in the morning? By adding your feelings and senses to your dreams, you will be unstoppable in your creations.

Recently, I’ve been feeling a lack of support from those around me. Today, that was given to me as a big lesson when someone that I respect and love set me out on my own to fly. At first, I was quite hurt and took it personally. After a good cry and perhaps a small pity party, I realized that she has given me a great gift.

You see, my friend and I have been meeting on and off for over a year now. She’s a bit older than I am and has written two books. She has spent years studying and I love the way that she challenges my thinking. Yesterday, I asked her to consider mentoring me and today, we’ve wished each other well for the future.

How could things have gone so wrong in the course of a day? Should I get angry and frustrated and take personally the things she said? Initially, I felt a twinge of anger but mostly sadness and hurt. After all, I had just poured out my heart to her on Monday discussing my feelings of lack of support. And here she was letting me go – not supporting me.

I needed her support, didn’t she understand that? I needed her to tell me that everything is okay and that I am on the right path. That expanding my business into new areas is the right thing to do. I wanted her to lead me and guide me as a mother would guide a small child. And disappointingly, that wasn’t what happened.

I could spend hours remembering how this had happened once before my life with another great mentor of mine. How suddenly, he was no longer there for me. I could continue to throw myself a pity party and cry because obviously I’m not on the right path of expansion, right? I am justified after all, aren’t I? All of these things I wanted to do – I wanted to be right!

And yet, here I sit, 3 hours later, writing this blog. I am thinking of the gift in the situation. It isn’t really that she and my previous mentor are so much more evolved than I am, it is more that all the support that I need has to come from within. It has to come from me. I can’t rely on them lifting me up every time I get down. I can’t burden them with the task of making sure that I am feeling strong and secure. Only when I can give that to myself, will I be able to seek a new mentor who will challenge me to grow into the next level of my own journey and evolution.

I seek so often in my life the acceptance and approval of others and yet I don’t really give it to myself. This must be the biggest lesson that I can learn. I teach and show others that self love and inner peace is so important and sometimes, I’m the one who needs that lesson the most. It really is true that we teach others what we need to learn the most.

Today, I give much gratitude, love, respend and heartfelt thanks to my previous mentor for giving me this great gift. I am stronger and I am flapping my wings and learning to fly. Thank you.

Today, I attended a new church and I found myself judging someone. In church of all places! I could only see this woman from behind but I found myself green with envy because she was perfectly put together – nice clothing, great hair, etc. Something that I perceive myself not to be – in fact, (and this will be the last time I say this and then I am going to release this limiting belief) I believe that I am style-less and would fall on my face in heels like that! 

This woman that I so was envious of stood up in front of the congregation a few minutes later and told her story. She had been diagnosed with several diseases including MS. She had previously been on 20 different medications and walked with a cane. This brave, beautiful woman that I had been so envious of was actually an inspiration to me and to many others. She used the power of her thoughts and is now able to walk in those heels without the use of a cane and she is currently only on 2 medications.

I was so humbled by her story and ashamed that I had previously judged her so – especially since my mission is to help others love themselves and love others..  And then I began to think about the lesson behind the experience that I had today.

I just never know what someone else is feeling or what they’ve gone through. I can’t begin to know who someone else really is because I’ve never walked in their shoes. I can only keep this lesson in mind and work on loving myself more so that I’m not so easy to judge. And be kind to myself and realize that I’m Human!

One client of mine had recently retired and had the dream of  making beautiful bird houses and bird baths. She loves woodworking and makes beautiful pieces.  She wanted a source of income that would supplement her retirement income. Her husband retired soon after she did, and she was so excited because she just KNEW that they would do this project together. The only challenge was her husband had no interest at all in woodworking or making beautiful bird houses and bird baths. She then abandoned her dream because he wasn’t willing to start the business with her.

She believed that the only way that her idea would be successful is if her husband was a part of the process. In actuality though, he’d never helped her before. She made beautiful pieces all by herself but somehow feared that she wasn’t good enough. She really didn’t need him to be successful. She had everything she needed within her, she just needed to have the courage to make it happen.

The same is for you! If you have a voice deep inside that is begging to be heard or a dream that is in the back of your mind of something that you’ve always wanted to do but may not know how to begin or believe that you’re not smart enough, talented enough or <fill in the blank> enough, listen and follow it! You ARE enough!

You are creative and smart and talented.  Anything that you dream, you can create. The desire is coming from deep within in you. It’s a part of you, it’s a part of what makes you unique and great. Honor that feeling and follow your dreams - that’s what life is all about.

I’ll never forget an encounter that I had with a beautiful young girl in La Jolla, CA about 12 years ago. On this particular day, I was in a foul mood and I’m sure that my energy oozed impatience and unhappiness. I stopped into Long’s Drugs to pick up something inconsequential and was quite annoyed that there was a long line.

While I was waiting for my turn to checkout, there was this beautiful little girl standing in line ahead of me and she wouldn’t stop staring at me with her big, brown eyes. As we continued to wait, I tried to divert her attention away from me by reading a magazine but it just didn’t work. The more she stared, the more uncomfortable I became. Why was this line taking soo long?

Finally, I made the decision to flash this little girl a half-hearted smile in hopes that she’d focus on someone or something else. When I did, the most amazing thing happened. This little girl returned my smile with the biggest, brightest, most compassionate smile I’ve ever felt. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree and my heart melted. My bad day suddenly wasn’t so bad.

Her parents finished paying and she grabbed her Papa’s hand and skipped out of the store. I’ll never forget that little girl and the way she touched my heart.

Whenever I think of that day, I remind myself that joy is what’s important and that puts it all into perspective.  Where will you find joy today?

I decided to see if I could change his views on celery – so I asked him to play along.

“Devin, tell me that you LOVE celery.” I said. “I love celery,” he mumbled.

“No! Tell me that you LOVE celery. Let’s try this. Say I love cookies,” I responded.  “I LOVE cookies,” he exclaimed.

“Exactly, I said! Just like that – Say to me. ‘I LOVE cookies’ and then say ‘I LOVE celery’ in exactly the same tone,” I instructed.

“I LOVE cookies. I LOVE celery,” he said. “Perfect!” I replied “now tell me why you love celery so much. What about celery do you love?”

“I don’t love anything about it,” he once again mumbled. “Of course you do – watch me… ” I took a piece of celery and took a nice crisp bite “I love the way it crunches in my mouth and the sweetness of the juice. I love that it’s crisp and cold. Now you tell me what you love.”

Reluctantly, he took a bite “I love the crispness of it. And actually I really do love the juice. It really IS crunchy, too.”

“Yes,” I replied taking another bite “it’s soooo good, don’t you think. Celery really is great.” Then he grinned at me and said “You know, you’re right” he then took another bite “why I do think celery is my favorite vegetable.”

Now secretly, I don’t really care much for celery personally but it’s nice to see that to this day, Devin’s favorite vegetable is celery. In fact, just the other day, we went to lunch at BD’s Mongolian Barbecue and he insisted on loading up on the celery because he loves it so much.

What could you begin to view differently in your life? What if you began to love those things that you mumble and grumble about? Would they get done faster giving you more time for something else?

That’s what I used to tell myself. And I eventually found that I was tired all the time, with headaches, and no energy. I was too tired to cook so I ate out, I didn’t have enough energy to walk up the flight of stairs to my bedroom let alone spend 20 minutes on the treadmill. I would toss and turn thinking about all of the things that I needed to do the next day and then was too tired to complete them. It was such a vicious cycle.

Today is March 25th – the beginning of spring. It’s a time when we see the birth of new babies in nature and the reawakening of plants, grasses and trees. It’s the perfect time to begin a renewing and rejuvination of self.

I started with 10 minutes per day. For 10 minutes, I would take the time to walk in nature, feel the air on my skin and the heat of the sun on my face, the earth under my feet and if you’re near water as I was… the water crashing toward the shore. It was here that I began to reconnect with my true inner feelings and slowly increased my time daily. I craved this time of reconnection so much.  As a result, I began to sleep better at night and I was shown that many of my ideas came during this quieting of my mind.

I offer to you – take 10 minutes today and quiet your mind. A little stroll, a hot bath, a quiet moment without television or the busy bussle of life and reconnect with your spirit.

Things that we tolerate in our lives require our energy and when our energy isn’t focused fully on our own inner desires, we tend to allow them to be our reasons for why we’re not able to succeed. For example, say you’re office is a complete mess with boxes, papers and books stacked everywhere and you want to write a book. When you sit at your desk, your mind is focusing on the fact that you can hardly see the top of your desk. You’re squeezed into a tiny little space with barely any room to move. You’re tolerating the clutter and also at the same time trying to be in the perfect mental space to create. It’s impossible. As you sit there, your mind will wander to the clutter (maybe even subconsciously)- it will become draining on your energy. Your creative process will be slowed down and you may or may not begin to tell yourself that you’re just not cut out to write a book!! Think about that – something external that you’re tolerating will drain your energy to the point that you may give up your dream and not even realize it!!

Put yourself in that space – what if you were to declutter your work space. Put the books in the bookcase, file the papers away, and rent a storage unit for the boxes if you have no other place to put them. You’ve just eliminated the distractions and the excuses and created the most pristine working environment for your creativity.

Take some time today to think about all the things that you are tolerating or putting up with in your life. Are you allowing those things to slow you down, drain your energy and steal your creativity?  Begin cleaning those things up and let us know the results you get.

This particular quote to me is so powerful because so many people in today’s society are numb – they aren’t connected to their feelings at all. They do what society wants them to do, they suppress their true inner desires. They become what their parents want them to become in life. They do the “right” thing all the time but who is to say that it’s “right” for them. Does that make sense at all?

Part of my work and my passion is to help people begin to feel again. When we (I mean this generally) truly connect to our own inner desires and do what our heart is yelling/screaming/begging us to do, then we will connect with God within us. We will connect with that which our soul’s purpose is. And when we do that, then it won’t be wrong. It can’t be wrong.

Who do you know that is letting their pain control their actions? Who do you know that masks their pain as so many people do with drugs, sex, alcohol, and overeating. Are you one of them? Do you refuse to feel? Are you numb and therefore not connected? How would things be different if only you would listen and emote your true feelings? If the feelings that you have on the surface are those of hurt and pain, you should explore those feelings. However hard that maybe – where did they come from? Are they true? And how can you heal and change them so that they serve you instead of you serving them? 

Don’t let your happiness be outside of you. Don’t hide your true feelings. Don’t wear a mask and pretend that they don’t exist. If you’re scared or you don’t know how, then seek help! Your life can be what you want it to be. You can be happy and you CAN wake up.   

I believe in my heart that the fact that so many of us are “asleep” or using masks to avoid feeling is a message that we must help those who are numb. We must teach the world to feel again. We must move toward love. We must love and the way to do that is to honor, recognize and connect with our feelings again.

Abraham teaches us that before we do anything in life we should first assess how it feels to us. How does it really feel deep down? Does our heart tense up but we do it anyway because it’s the “right” thing to do? It’s expected of us so we do it anyway despite the fact that it goes against everything we desire. What if we no longer did the right thing but instead listened to our feelings? How would our lives be different? How would the world be different?

Years ago, Barry Manilow was doing a concert series in Europe and a 12-day trip was planned to follow his tour. Glenn and his wife at the time couldn’t resist the opportunity and signed up for the adventure.

Once they arrived in England, they were given an itinerary that included shopping and lunching with the other members of the tour and then the concerts in the evening. While Glenn enjoyed the company of the women, he decided that he didn’t want to travel all the way to England and not see the sites so he asked his wife and some of the other women (he was the only male) if they would like to see some of the sites with him. Each of them had a reason as to why they wouldn’t stemming from the fact that they really should follow the schedule given to them. This left Glenn on his own to sightsee while the women followed the itinerary.

The first day, he went to Buckingham Palace. He arrived later in the afternoon but decided to take the tour anyway. He was awed by the history and disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to see all of the castle because of the time constraints. While he was walking through, he made friendly conversation with one of the Royal British Guards. At 5pm, he expressed his disappointment to the Guard and the Guard then offered for Glenn to join him as he did his end of day rounds. What an amazing opportunity!

The next day, Glenn decided to visit Westminster Abbey. He took the tour of Church and was very interested in the deep history. He asked many questions of the tour guide and it was clear that he loved the experience. At the end of the day, the tour guide introduced herself. It just happened that on this day, the normal guide wasn’t there and the curator of the museum had given the tour. She noticed his excitement, enthusiasm and interest and invited him to come back for a special event that afternoon at 5.

At 5pm, Glenn knocked on the door and explained to the Guard that he had been invited back. When he went inside, he realized that what he was about to witness was an amazing journey throughout history. You see, the church was about to go through some renovation and on this night, they were going to document the different floor inlays – the inlays that each king had stood on for his coronation, each prince’s baptism, etc. – in case anything would happen and they would need to restore this part of history. Glenn was there to witness as the curator dictated all of the history – and watched in awe and amazement. He was grateful for this amazing opportunity!

This brings me to back to our conversation. After he had relayed this story to me, I was immediately struck by the realization that this was a metaphor for life. When in our lives do we follow what other people are doing instead of what our hearts yearn to do? What amazing events and opportunities are we missing out on? What if just today we listened to that yearning inside and did one thing that was calling for us?

I know our lives would change and we’d attract more magical experiences – just as Glenn did all those years ago.