Even when you’ve been coaching as long as I have, “stuff” can still come up. One of the biggest issues that I’m faced with is realizing that everything that I need, I have within me.
Recently, I’ve been feeling a lack of support from those around me. Today, that was given to me as a big lesson when someone that I respect and love set me out on my own to fly. At first, I was quite hurt and took it personally. After a good cry and perhaps a small pity party, I realized that she has given me a great gift.
You see, my friend and I have been meeting on and off for over a year now. She’s a bit older than I am and has written two books. She has spent years studying and I love the way that she challenges my thinking. Yesterday, I asked her to consider mentoring me and today, we’ve wished each other well for the future.
How could things have gone so wrong in the course of a day? Should I get angry and frustrated and take personally the things she said? Initially, I felt a twinge of anger but mostly sadness and hurt. After all, I had just poured out my heart to her on Monday discussing my feelings of lack of support. And here she was letting me go – not supporting me.
I needed her support, didn’t she understand that? I needed her to tell me that everything is okay and that I am on the right path. That expanding my business into new areas is the right thing to do. I wanted her to lead me and guide me as a mother would guide a small child. And disappointingly, that wasn’t what happened.
I could spend hours remembering how this had happened once before my life with another great mentor of mine. How suddenly, he was no longer there for me. I could continue to throw myself a pity party and cry because obviously I’m not on the right path of expansion, right? I am justified after all, aren’t I? All of these things I wanted to do – I wanted to be right!
And yet, here I sit, 3 hours later, writing this blog. I am thinking of the gift in the situation. It isn’t really that she and my previous mentor are so much more evolved than I am, it is more that all the support that I need has to come from within. It has to come from me. I can’t rely on them lifting me up every time I get down. I can’t burden them with the task of making sure that I am feeling strong and secure. Only when I can give that to myself, will I be able to seek a new mentor who will challenge me to grow into the next level of my own journey and evolution.
I seek so often in my life the acceptance and approval of others and yet I don’t really give it to myself. This must be the biggest lesson that I can learn. I teach and show others that self love and inner peace is so important and sometimes, I’m the one who needs that lesson the most. It really is true that we teach others what we need to learn the most.
Today, I give much gratitude, love, respend and heartfelt thanks to my previous mentor for giving me this great gift. I am stronger and I am flapping my wings and learning to fly. Thank you.
Love it, you are strong and inspirational. Keep writing.
Thank you, Steve!